Man I’m so wrong for this. I like monagamy. It actually works for us. I think if you have enough rando experiences when you’re young then this ends up being what you want. Everyone is different though, I get it.
I’m with Mark on this one: I’m pretty comfortable with my conventionality, so I read this and just went, “Wow, what a bunch of work!” But it was an interesting thing to read, and ain’t that the great thing about reading other people’s thoughts: you get a front row seat in the life of someone who lives differently than you.
Great post, Alex. I liked how you explore your emotions in-step or out.
With LI, as an optimist I’d vote for client acceptance.
I also liked the part about those people we temporarily fancy from afar. Your storytelling mind can dress his/her personality any way you like. If you get to know the person, you find out the true ‘city limits.’
This was great! I love the idea of being someone else's trauma one day. It's twisted, but it's also a really smart observation about the human condition, because we're all so obsessed with our own traumas that we can't see our role in perpetuating trauma. I hope you'll explore this idea further.
OK, open relationships? I have no idea, to be honest. My best guess is that like so many things in a world dominated by internet culture, we're talking about these hidden things a lot more, but it's hard to say if the thing itself is on the rise, but it's also a safe bet that the thing isn't new because people have been people for thousands of years.
You mention Ashley Madison. You should watch the doc on Netflix. I interviewed the CEO once. I was working for a legal humor site (I still can't believe someone actually funded humor for lawyers). We interviewed the CEO because he was a lawyer and because his main job was being an advocate for infidelity. The interview was fine. But I got a vibe. The vibe came from my days working at a trade publication that covered the porn industry (I've had a strange career). The CEO of Ashley Madison reminded me of every shady adult webmaster I'd ever met. I say shady because these guys (nearly of them were guys) talk up their traffic to absurd levels. Fraudsters was the word that often came to mind, but also the word we never used because libel laws are real. Anyway, the Ashley Madison CEO gave me that vibe, and the doc on netflix pretty much confirmed my suspicions. Long story short, I know everything you see on Feeld is stuff someone, somewhere is actually doing. But I also know that the degree to which this stuff is popular is really hard to measure, unless you have the resources of the Kinsey Institute, and at the same time, it's almost always going to ricochet around our media ecosystem until you are absolutely convinced that everyone is doing it, except for you.
Should you post on LinkedIn? I dunno. But there needs to be a professional network for people in the sex business. Call it KinkedIn. That's my pitch.
Yeah. I honestly think that these sites are going to be more and more common over time. I think apps are going to be easier to make and switching costs will be lower and lower. People will have hyper specialized software experiences and these broader "dating sites for people who want to be dating" will be replaced by "an app for muslim lesbians" and then people will just download, and if unsuccessful they'll then flee to "an app for muslim lesbians who like anime" etc.
I am probably an annoying hippy liberal. I'm reading The Other Significant Others by Rhaina Cohen and it's making me realize that this whole idea of getting all our needs met by the person we marry is not doing anyone favors.
Also, why is Vegan an option?? I can think of so few non-vegan sex options, and if it's just a food preference for going out for a meal then why aren't there other food options??
Talked to a couple looking for 3rd on Bumble back in the day, but they only wanted fling before moving to CO. Did teach me that I’m monogamous haha. No go on Ashley Madison life, too many consequences come with it. LinkedIn would definitely bring opinions from clients, good & bad 😭 fun read btw!
Just seems like everyone on these docs/reality are looking for more influence. That couple just supplemented their social media existence. They were cute though 😅
Man I’m so wrong for this. I like monagamy. It actually works for us. I think if you have enough rando experiences when you’re young then this ends up being what you want. Everyone is different though, I get it.
I’m with Mark on this one: I’m pretty comfortable with my conventionality, so I read this and just went, “Wow, what a bunch of work!” But it was an interesting thing to read, and ain’t that the great thing about reading other people’s thoughts: you get a front row seat in the life of someone who lives differently than you.
Yeah. One of those "get it out of your system" things. I bet that's the more common/easily doable path for like 90% of people
Great post, Alex. I liked how you explore your emotions in-step or out.
With LI, as an optimist I’d vote for client acceptance.
I also liked the part about those people we temporarily fancy from afar. Your storytelling mind can dress his/her personality any way you like. If you get to know the person, you find out the true ‘city limits.’
Yes yes. And you can't ever fully know anyone. You can only know them for a moment and then they change and then you only knew them
This was great! I love the idea of being someone else's trauma one day. It's twisted, but it's also a really smart observation about the human condition, because we're all so obsessed with our own traumas that we can't see our role in perpetuating trauma. I hope you'll explore this idea further.
OK, open relationships? I have no idea, to be honest. My best guess is that like so many things in a world dominated by internet culture, we're talking about these hidden things a lot more, but it's hard to say if the thing itself is on the rise, but it's also a safe bet that the thing isn't new because people have been people for thousands of years.
You mention Ashley Madison. You should watch the doc on Netflix. I interviewed the CEO once. I was working for a legal humor site (I still can't believe someone actually funded humor for lawyers). We interviewed the CEO because he was a lawyer and because his main job was being an advocate for infidelity. The interview was fine. But I got a vibe. The vibe came from my days working at a trade publication that covered the porn industry (I've had a strange career). The CEO of Ashley Madison reminded me of every shady adult webmaster I'd ever met. I say shady because these guys (nearly of them were guys) talk up their traffic to absurd levels. Fraudsters was the word that often came to mind, but also the word we never used because libel laws are real. Anyway, the Ashley Madison CEO gave me that vibe, and the doc on netflix pretty much confirmed my suspicions. Long story short, I know everything you see on Feeld is stuff someone, somewhere is actually doing. But I also know that the degree to which this stuff is popular is really hard to measure, unless you have the resources of the Kinsey Institute, and at the same time, it's almost always going to ricochet around our media ecosystem until you are absolutely convinced that everyone is doing it, except for you.
Should you post on LinkedIn? I dunno. But there needs to be a professional network for people in the sex business. Call it KinkedIn. That's my pitch.
Yeah. I honestly think that these sites are going to be more and more common over time. I think apps are going to be easier to make and switching costs will be lower and lower. People will have hyper specialized software experiences and these broader "dating sites for people who want to be dating" will be replaced by "an app for muslim lesbians" and then people will just download, and if unsuccessful they'll then flee to "an app for muslim lesbians who like anime" etc.
I am probably an annoying hippy liberal. I'm reading The Other Significant Others by Rhaina Cohen and it's making me realize that this whole idea of getting all our needs met by the person we marry is not doing anyone favors.
Also, why is Vegan an option?? I can think of so few non-vegan sex options, and if it's just a food preference for going out for a meal then why aren't there other food options??
Hahah. Okay that book looks good, at least from what GPT tells me.
And yeah idk. I think "being everything to everyone" is working for them as an app tbh
Talked to a couple looking for 3rd on Bumble back in the day, but they only wanted fling before moving to CO. Did teach me that I’m monogamous haha. No go on Ashley Madison life, too many consequences come with it. LinkedIn would definitely bring opinions from clients, good & bad 😭 fun read btw!
But if you had gone on Ashley Madison maybe you'd be on Netflix now!
Just seems like everyone on these docs/reality are looking for more influence. That couple just supplemented their social media existence. They were cute though 😅