I saw a life coach for a bit. He was an actor who had dealt with his own gambling, sex, drug, and alcohol addictions. Most of my friends thought I was nuts to see someone who had been through so much shit, but my friend Norm, who has been through a lot of shit, was like, "that's who you want when the shit hits the fan... someone who has been lower than you."
I came to this life coach because I had been seen a regular therapist for my anxiety and for grief counseling. The therapy went well, but after a few months, probably because the insurance company said so, my therapist was like, "you've made progress, you are good, we are done here." I was like, "but I'm not writing, I haven't written in like a year." My therapist sighed and said that writer's block wasn't really something they dealt with or could treat, and I was like, "but I am a writer and whatever the fuck is going on in my head, it's a real-ass problem because I cannot work." We argued about whether or not writer's block is real, and at one point I gave her an example of a truck driver who couldn't get behind the wheel because of his feelings, and even though she said she would have to agree with me that my hypothetical trucker would need more therapy, so told me we were done. Again, I think that was the insurance company talking.
Anyway, I found the life coach through a friend of a friend. I paid him cash. We met in his office, which he rented from a shady criminal defense lawyer. I told him all the fears that were fucking me up. He encouraged me to journal about them, then bring in my journal so we could go over it together. It took about five weeks, but we pinpointed the problem. Then we spent another three weeks working on getting into a "joyful habit" that would get me writing again. Turns out that shit worked!
Stick with your witch, Alex! And thank you for writing this wonderful essay. I loved it!
That's awesome. Yeah. I really do think, that credentials don't often matter — it's about finding someone your resonate with who will invest in helping you. Thanks for the note, Michael. Everyone subscribe to Michael's Substack!
Hi Michael! I actually just wrote an article on my publication called “What is a life coach really?”. And I also have some more upcoming writings about the difference between therapists and life coaches, and the various benefits and nuances to be aware of when deciding how to navigate optimizing who you are hiring.
I told Alex this in a comment below as well, but I believe I begin to briefly touch on this in my About page.
I absolutely love therapy, and I love therapists. But as a life coach myself, I can’t tell you how many people talk to me about having very negative experiences with their therapist, or not acquiring prominent and sustaining results with their therapy. So I’m becoming very moved to writing more about this!
Happy you are getting results with your coach!! YES!!!! 🙌
I recently did an online workshop where we were paired off in groups and a stranger watched me scream into a pillow for a long time. It was weird and also very cathartic. I'll probably never see her again. Thank you Beth for holding that space.
Alex this was a delight to read. I can relate so much. Although I read my cards from Francie RELIGIOUSLY!!! I laughed a lot and feel this sums up her work so eloquently. Also - I totally had family therapy when I was a kid and it was a strange strange time. It was group family therapy and all of the families there were extremely fucked up. The things I heard about in therapy disturbed me greatly as as 12 year old.
Yeah. I mean. I haven't looked at my cards in three days but I feel like it right now haha. I need to get better at looking at them. But...maybe not? Hah
I just went to see a guy in Crown Heights called the “Loving Shaman” who did reiki massage on me. He blew at me, hovered over me, and moved out “ghosts and demons” while massaging me with Ayervedic oil. I really felt like I was on a different astral plane afterwards and it helped me release a lot of my tensions and past trauma. He then taught me some Puerto Rican voodoo magic to let go of the past. Highly recommend trying out reiki and craniosacral therapy!
It’s great to change things up. I had same issue pulling things to talk about with my therapist, until mutual agreement that my goals were met. I could use some AHS Coven witches here haha.
(Side note: how you liking wheel of time?/season 2?)
I love reading your stories (I came here for the Ayahuasca story and and interest with herbal and plant medicine, as you put it, a guess a hippie, to understand it from a skeptic point view, it taught me a lot about how similar experiences can be extremely different) , and I’m one of those people who practice tarot, morning affirmations, doing witchy or spiritual oriented activities and all that other stuff; so basically, I can kinda relate a bit to Francee in your story and people like her. I appreciate how you mention it not really the actual literal tools and packages or even people we have preconceived notions to be capable of doing the legitimate help. Like it’s not the tarot cards/oracle cards; the healing comes from the understanding and genuine care that comes with working with those who can meet you where you are. And I’m glad you’re able to have that experience even if it’s from a type of person others would judge as inappropriate or incapable. Thank you for sharing these experiences.
Not a fan of therapists although some are my friends. I told one about a drowning incident from my childhood and during our EMDR session, which I went to try out for fun with her, she said with surprise that I was exhibiting the symptoms of someone who had almost drowned. Duhhhh.... Guess she thought I was just mental when I arrived. I too moved onto a witch. Mine was also a Chi Gong Grandmaster. But she and I came to see things differently. Now I let my Tarot deck throw out random cards for me when I shuffle it. I have gone rogue in El Salvador.
Alex, I am brand new to your publication and I am SO happy that this was the very first article I chose. I smiled the ENTIRE time. My partner even walked into the room and asked “what are you laughing at?”.
Mak’s the name! Nice to meet ya!
As an Oregonian who cut her dreadlocks off a few years ago and have been to every Kumbaya-witchy gathering you can imagine, and who...yes...uses cards (oracle cards, not tarot cards)... I am delighted you have found “your best paid ear” and that she is a witch. I trust her. I love her.
I have also broken up with therapists. God do I have some stories!
I have a new publication here, called Actionable Anxiety, and in my About page (I believe) I BRIEFLY talk about how to hire/fire the right professional for you (although, I use the term “say bye-bye”). I will also be writing a few other articles here soon, to discuss why people do not often get as meaningful or sustainable results with their therapist for anxiety. So stay tuned if interested!
In the meantime, would you like me to pull you an oracle card? 😉
I ate a bunch of mushroom chocolate (first time) to have a spiritual experience. Turns out it was actually DMT. So, in my friend’s estranged brother’s toilet, I came face to face with god. I also puked all over myself and my wife had to take me home. 7/10. Would do again.
I saw a life coach for a bit. He was an actor who had dealt with his own gambling, sex, drug, and alcohol addictions. Most of my friends thought I was nuts to see someone who had been through so much shit, but my friend Norm, who has been through a lot of shit, was like, "that's who you want when the shit hits the fan... someone who has been lower than you."
I came to this life coach because I had been seen a regular therapist for my anxiety and for grief counseling. The therapy went well, but after a few months, probably because the insurance company said so, my therapist was like, "you've made progress, you are good, we are done here." I was like, "but I'm not writing, I haven't written in like a year." My therapist sighed and said that writer's block wasn't really something they dealt with or could treat, and I was like, "but I am a writer and whatever the fuck is going on in my head, it's a real-ass problem because I cannot work." We argued about whether or not writer's block is real, and at one point I gave her an example of a truck driver who couldn't get behind the wheel because of his feelings, and even though she said she would have to agree with me that my hypothetical trucker would need more therapy, so told me we were done. Again, I think that was the insurance company talking.
Anyway, I found the life coach through a friend of a friend. I paid him cash. We met in his office, which he rented from a shady criminal defense lawyer. I told him all the fears that were fucking me up. He encouraged me to journal about them, then bring in my journal so we could go over it together. It took about five weeks, but we pinpointed the problem. Then we spent another three weeks working on getting into a "joyful habit" that would get me writing again. Turns out that shit worked!
Stick with your witch, Alex! And thank you for writing this wonderful essay. I loved it!
That's awesome. Yeah. I really do think, that credentials don't often matter — it's about finding someone your resonate with who will invest in helping you. Thanks for the note, Michael. Everyone subscribe to Michael's Substack!
Thank you, Alex!
Oh man this is such a great ping to see a life coach.
Hi Michael! I actually just wrote an article on my publication called “What is a life coach really?”. And I also have some more upcoming writings about the difference between therapists and life coaches, and the various benefits and nuances to be aware of when deciding how to navigate optimizing who you are hiring.
I told Alex this in a comment below as well, but I believe I begin to briefly touch on this in my About page.
I absolutely love therapy, and I love therapists. But as a life coach myself, I can’t tell you how many people talk to me about having very negative experiences with their therapist, or not acquiring prominent and sustaining results with their therapy. So I’m becoming very moved to writing more about this!
Happy you are getting results with your coach!! YES!!!! 🙌
I recently did an online workshop where we were paired off in groups and a stranger watched me scream into a pillow for a long time. It was weird and also very cathartic. I'll probably never see her again. Thank you Beth for holding that space.
Alex this was a delight to read. I can relate so much. Although I read my cards from Francie RELIGIOUSLY!!! I laughed a lot and feel this sums up her work so eloquently. Also - I totally had family therapy when I was a kid and it was a strange strange time. It was group family therapy and all of the families there were extremely fucked up. The things I heard about in therapy disturbed me greatly as as 12 year old.
Lastly, fuck that bitch Anh.
Yeah. I mean. I haven't looked at my cards in three days but I feel like it right now haha. I need to get better at looking at them. But...maybe not? Hah
Hey Alex,
You're incredibly talented on a sentence by sentence level. Your rhythm is absurd. I really admire it. Just subscribed, and looking to read more. Thx!
I want to get cards from Francie, how does that work??
Email me (you should have received a welcome email from me when you signed up) and I'll put you in touch :D
I just went to see a guy in Crown Heights called the “Loving Shaman” who did reiki massage on me. He blew at me, hovered over me, and moved out “ghosts and demons” while massaging me with Ayervedic oil. I really felt like I was on a different astral plane afterwards and it helped me release a lot of my tensions and past trauma. He then taught me some Puerto Rican voodoo magic to let go of the past. Highly recommend trying out reiki and craniosacral therapy!
It’s great to change things up. I had same issue pulling things to talk about with my therapist, until mutual agreement that my goals were met. I could use some AHS Coven witches here haha.
(Side note: how you liking wheel of time?/season 2?)
I CANNOT HANDLE THAT SEASON 3 DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A RELEASE DATE YET. Any other reccs?
Just enjoying live action One Piece on Netflix. Haven’t found any fantasy series in WoT or GoT realm haha
Those ratings were so bad. Now they've improved. Started Ragnarok. That's been great.
I’ll check out Ragnarok. Thx for the recommendation
It's good to have a witch.
Love you!
Thanks Kathi. Love you too!
I love reading your stories (I came here for the Ayahuasca story and and interest with herbal and plant medicine, as you put it, a guess a hippie, to understand it from a skeptic point view, it taught me a lot about how similar experiences can be extremely different) , and I’m one of those people who practice tarot, morning affirmations, doing witchy or spiritual oriented activities and all that other stuff; so basically, I can kinda relate a bit to Francee in your story and people like her. I appreciate how you mention it not really the actual literal tools and packages or even people we have preconceived notions to be capable of doing the legitimate help. Like it’s not the tarot cards/oracle cards; the healing comes from the understanding and genuine care that comes with working with those who can meet you where you are. And I’m glad you’re able to have that experience even if it’s from a type of person others would judge as inappropriate or incapable. Thank you for sharing these experiences.
Totally agreed. I called her today to complain and then she yelled at me about not being grateful and then 5 minutes later I was fixed.
Not a fan of therapists although some are my friends. I told one about a drowning incident from my childhood and during our EMDR session, which I went to try out for fun with her, she said with surprise that I was exhibiting the symptoms of someone who had almost drowned. Duhhhh.... Guess she thought I was just mental when I arrived. I too moved onto a witch. Mine was also a Chi Gong Grandmaster. But she and I came to see things differently. Now I let my Tarot deck throw out random cards for me when I shuffle it. I have gone rogue in El Salvador.
Alex, I am brand new to your publication and I am SO happy that this was the very first article I chose. I smiled the ENTIRE time. My partner even walked into the room and asked “what are you laughing at?”.
Mak’s the name! Nice to meet ya!
As an Oregonian who cut her dreadlocks off a few years ago and have been to every Kumbaya-witchy gathering you can imagine, and who...yes...uses cards (oracle cards, not tarot cards)... I am delighted you have found “your best paid ear” and that she is a witch. I trust her. I love her.
I have also broken up with therapists. God do I have some stories!
I have a new publication here, called Actionable Anxiety, and in my About page (I believe) I BRIEFLY talk about how to hire/fire the right professional for you (although, I use the term “say bye-bye”). I will also be writing a few other articles here soon, to discuss why people do not often get as meaningful or sustainable results with their therapist for anxiety. So stay tuned if interested!
In the meantime, would you like me to pull you an oracle card? 😉
Alex, made a mistake! I begin debriefing this in my article “What is a life coach really?”
https://open.substack.com/pub/actionableanxiety/p/what-is-a-life-coach-really?r=rytje&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
I just saw this comment somehow, but I read your other ones :)
Thanks for being a fan. Excited to read your stuff!!
I ate a bunch of mushroom chocolate (first time) to have a spiritual experience. Turns out it was actually DMT. So, in my friend’s estranged brother’s toilet, I came face to face with god. I also puked all over myself and my wife had to take me home. 7/10. Would do again.
Haha. DMT chocolate. That sounds like such a terrible terrible idea. Is your friend's estranged brother estranged because you puked in the toilet